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Thursday
Oct222009

Heartbeater CD Release October 30th; Hospitals Alerted

 

Health care professionals rejoiced today when they found out that Heartbeater was planning on playing a CD release show at the end of October.  This news comes right on the heals of Heartbeater's now infamous last show at new faces night at the Basement.  Rumors have circulated that there was an afterparty that left most involved blacked out drunk and sleeping with strangers.  Dr. Sherman "Tron" McDonald spoke at a press conference early this morning.

"We are all very excited to hear about this show. We have our stomach pumps and herpes medicine ready.  We will also be on site to give ambulance rides to people who 'get too fucked up'. We are also proud to announce that Verizon has joined the event and will have free phone service to people who 'Swear to God they are dying and need to call their mom so she can come pick them up'.

This is easily the best news we have had since the H1N1 outbreak. The expected revenues from the medical treatment at this show should make my trip with my wife to the Hamptons a sure thing."

McDonald continued on to talk about how his wife's new tit job was almost worth the soul sucking it cost.

When asked for comment, a member of Heartbeater who asked to remain nameless said, "We are just gonna try to sling out some billy shit and throwdown. I have this new riff that is like the Citizen Kane shit. We are gonna bring it back home, dude."

Here's hoping, dude.

 

 

 

Disclaimer: All of this is untrue. Except for the show. And the billy riff part. And the part about Verizon. Ok, that isn't true. Just be there. It is going to be badass.

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Reader Comments (1)

haha

October 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterddddd

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